Unnecessary Sympathy

Ever since we found out we were having a little girl, we have been thrilled.  When I say “we”, I literally mean, Paul and I.  When we talked about our future we’ve always talked about kids, and both of us thought it would be great to have a little boy first, so he could grow up to protect his little sister.  Knowing that we have absolutely no control over the gender of our baby, neither of us felt any disappointment when we found out we were having a little girl.  We were over the moon.  All we ever wanted was a healthy baby.  When we prayed about our baby, we never prayed, “Please give me a boy” or “Please give me a girl”, it was only ever “please let our baby grow strong and healthy”.

Whenever someone finds out we are pregnant, even strangers, they ask if we know what the sex is yet.  We let them know it’s a girl, and every single time, they look at Paul to sympathize and try to reassure him.  They make comments along the lines of, “Oh little girls can be so much fun too!” “You’re still going to love having a little girl”, “I bet you wanted a boy, but don’t worry, it’s fun raising a girl”.

I’ve always heard these comments, but I never brought them up to him, and I didn’t think he looked into it much.  Until we were in the car driving, and Paul said, “It bothers me that people always make comments, that make it seem like I’m disappointed to be having a little girl”.  Ouch.  I know it’s pretty common, for men to want to have boys.  They want to teach them to play sports, and be rough and tough.  A lot of men may not know how to relate to having a little girl, because they never were one, but to assume someone is disappointed to be having a little girl is pretty harsh.

From the moment we found out it was a little girl, Paul started making plans.  He talks about all the things he will teach Aubrey.  He can’t wait to take her fishing, and on bike rides.  Just because we’re having a girl, doesn’t mean she can’t learn how to fish, hunt, throw a ball, and do things boys do.  She is going to love getting to spend time with her daddy.  Sure, she may lose interest in some of those things as she grows up, but that doesn’t mean Paul can’t spend quality time with his daughter teaching her all sorts of things.

So no, we aren’t having a boy, but Paul doesn’t need any sympathy, because we are having a little girl, and he’s so excited about it.  I just have this feeling that she will be a daddy’s girl through and through.

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Freewill

Expecting a child comes with so many emotions.  It is so incredibly exciting, but it is completely terrifying at the same time.  Not only are we responsible for the well being of our daughter, but we are responsible for her soul.  We are responsible for teaching her to live in the ways of the Lord, and raising her to have faith.  We are the role models for her future, and her relationship with God.  That is a HUGE responsibility, even more so than making sure she has all of her basic needs provided for.  The pastor at our old church in Tallahassee always used to say, that your goal as a parent should be having godly grandchildren, because that means as a parent you’ve successfully raised godly children.

That being said, there is no guidebook for parenting.  So every time Paul and I see or hear of a situation with children, we ask the questions, “If that was Aubrey, what would we do?” “How do we handle that?” “How do we keep that from happening?”  Our daughter’s future is completely overwhelming when we look forward to her teenage years, and decisions she will face.  How do we do this whole parenting thing?  These thoughts have kept me up countless nights during this pregnancy, and finally the answer came to me.

We are not raising her alone.  We pray that God will guide us with our parenting decisions, and we pray that He will help us lead Aubrey the right way.  We will teach her right from wrong.  We will teach her to respect authority.  We will teach her to respect herself.  We will teach her the dangers of drinking and driving, drugs, talking to strangers.  We will fill her with as much knowledge as we can before we send her off into the world, but from there how do you not shelter them, and keep yourself from being overprotective?

Freewill.

We can only teach our children so much, and then at some point, we need to trust them to make the right decisions, and give them the freewill to make mistakes.  The same way our Father in heaven has taught us.  We know what pleases Him, but He gives us the freewill to make our own choices, and our own mistakes.  We trust that we will do our job of raising her to the best of our ability, and then we have to leave the rest in God’s hands.  We trust that He will take care of her.

Our daughter isn’t even here yet, but as we await the arrival of our first daughter, our minds are racing.  I think that is only normal, but I think the best approach is for us to take it one day at a time.  She isn’t even here yet, so we can’t be working ourselves up with worrying about what we will do when she gets older.  Let’s work on getting her here safe and healthy.  Then let’s work on getting her to sleep at night 🙂 Until then I will continually praise God, for this gift He is entrusting to Paul and I.

Train up a child in the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6