Expecting a child comes with so many emotions.  It is so incredibly exciting, but it is completely terrifying at the same time.  Not only are we responsible for the well being of our daughter, but we are responsible for her soul.  We are responsible for teaching her to live in the ways of the Lord, and raising her to have faith.  We are the role models for her future, and her relationship with God.  That is a HUGE responsibility, even more so than making sure she has all of her basic needs provided for.  The pastor at our old church in Tallahassee always used to say, that your goal as a parent should be having godly grandchildren, because that means as a parent you’ve successfully raised godly children.

That being said, there is no guidebook for parenting.  So every time Paul and I see or hear of a situation with children, we ask the questions, “If that was Aubrey, what would we do?” “How do we handle that?” “How do we keep that from happening?”  Our daughter’s future is completely overwhelming when we look forward to her teenage years, and decisions she will face.  How do we do this whole parenting thing?  These thoughts have kept me up countless nights during this pregnancy, and finally the answer came to me.

We are not raising her alone.  We pray that God will guide us with our parenting decisions, and we pray that He will help us lead Aubrey the right way.  We will teach her right from wrong.  We will teach her to respect authority.  We will teach her to respect herself.  We will teach her the dangers of drinking and driving, drugs, talking to strangers.  We will fill her with as much knowledge as we can before we send her off into the world, but from there how do you not shelter them, and keep yourself from being overprotective?


We can only teach our children so much, and then at some point, we need to trust them to make the right decisions, and give them the freewill to make mistakes.  The same way our Father in heaven has taught us.  We know what pleases Him, but He gives us the freewill to make our own choices, and our own mistakes.  We trust that we will do our job of raising her to the best of our ability, and then we have to leave the rest in God’s hands.  We trust that He will take care of her.

Our daughter isn’t even here yet, but as we await the arrival of our first daughter, our minds are racing.  I think that is only normal, but I think the best approach is for us to take it one day at a time.  She isn’t even here yet, so we can’t be working ourselves up with worrying about what we will do when she gets older.  Let’s work on getting her here safe and healthy.  Then let’s work on getting her to sleep at night 🙂 Until then I will continually praise God, for this gift He is entrusting to Paul and I.

Train up a child in the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6


You Just Gotta Have Faith

Sometimes I think one of the hardest parts of being a Christian is having faith in God that everything will work out.  When things seem hopeless, when you have no sense of direction, when things don’t work out the way you wanted them to, you have to have faith in God that he is in control.

It’s funny how God knows exactly what you need to hear, and finds a way to deliver the message.  At bible study this week we were studying the story of Noah.  How Noah was instructed to do something that seemed absolutely ludicrous, and yet he listened, obeyed, had tons of faith and trusted in God.  I mean he built an ark for 120 years in the middle of land!! For 120 years you have to wonder if he questioned God at all.  Are you really going to flood the Earth God?  Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing right now?

Obviously, Noah’s situation is vastly different from our own situations in our lives (I mean I could be wrong, but I don’t think God has told anyone to build an ark recently), but we need to use Noah as a role model for faith in our own lives.  Even when we don’t see the big picture, and things get hard.  We have to trust in God, have faith, and know that God is in control and He has a plan.   I know this is easier said than done sometimes.  When we see things happening on a day to day basis, and we don’t see the full picture we ask God the obvious question, “WHY??”

So here I am asking God “Why?!?”, when instead I just need to have faith.  I trust that God has a plan, and when the time comes it will reveal itself to me, but it is a lot easier to have faith in God when we are building a relationship with him.  So I will pray, pray without ceasing.  After all, God has never failed me.

You Think I Would Have This Figured Out by Now…

Looking back it’s almost humorous.  All the times I get impatient, or I don’t understand why something is happening, when in reality I don’t need to.  I know that God is in control, and I just trust in Him and His ultimate plan.  I thought He taught me this lesson at the beginning of this year, but I think He likes to teach things again, just to drive the lesson home so to speak.  Let’s just look back and laugh at all the times in 2014 I was frustrated, and God’s plan prevailed perfectly.

  • Paul’s back issues brought him to the ER, and in the midst of my husband’s pain, God taught me to let go of my money issues… Doesn’t make sense?  You can read about it here.
  • Paul and I went back and forth about getting a new car.   We finally decided it was in our best interest for his job since he was spending so much time on the road.   Almost 2 months to the day, God laughed at us, and provided Paul with a new job that also came with a company car.  We have since sold my car, and now I’m driving the car we thought we were buying for Paul.  1 Car = 1 car to insure.
  • New job meant moving out of Tallahassee, and Paul and I couldn’t quite figure out where we wanted to be.  We had decided on Palm Coast Beach, up until his boss told him Orlando was “strongly encouraged”.  So to Orlando we came… not very enthusiastically.  Aside from my parents and brother, we weren’t too excited to be in the crazy big city that engulfs central Florida.  Why here?  …. keep reading…
  • New job for Paul in Orlando, meant new job for me. Except God dealt us another hand, and gave me the opportunity to keep working for a company I love, and to work from home.  Could that prayer have been answered any more perfectly?
  • Paul and I decided money and situations may never be perfect or ideal for bringing a new baby into the world, but if you let that stop you, you may never have the baby or family you’ve always dreamed of.  Back in March we started trying for our little family regardless of how much money we made, and regardless of the fact that our house was not big enough.  Month after month I would cry trying to figure out why getting pregnant was SO EASY for people (it seemed especially easy for people on my Facebook Newsfeed!).   (*Disclaimer: Paul and I did not have issues getting pregnant, I was just impatient.  I thank God every day that we were able to get pregnant, as I know many women struggle with infertility, and their dream is to be a mom)  I knew God had a plan, and I kept reminding myself of that, but I still felt disappointment each month knowing that God decided that wasn’t quite the time for us to get pregnant.  Why not ?? ….keep reading…

That brings us to today.  Where God has answered each and every prayer, and provided for us beyond our wildest dreams.  Paul got a new job with more security, and gave us even more financial stability.  It brought us to Orlando… 5 minutes from my parents to be exact (perfect when you’re expecting your first baby).  I now work from home.  Last but not least, within 2 weeks of moving, we finally got that positive test we had been waiting for.  We didn’t see God’s big picture from the beginning, we only saw His plan as it unfolded day by day, but in the end His plan is so incredibly perfect.  God has never given me a reason to doubt His plan.   I sometimes get frustrated and have to remind myself that He has a plan, but after all the ways God has provided for us…. don’t you think I would have this all figured out by now?

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” – Jeremiah 17:7-8

Time for a Testimony

This entire year has been a testimony to our faith.  There have been so many stories and blessings this year, but I figured it was time to share one of my favorites.

If you’ve been reading my blog regularly, you may remember that I’ve previously talked about the struggles we have had financially in 2014.  Starting in January we got hit with huge unexpected expenses one right after the other, and they haven’t quite ended but God has continued to provide for us through everything.

After Paul’s visit to the ER in February, we were getting hit with all sorts of medical bills.  Unfortunately, we had to hit Paul’s deductible before his insurance kicked in.   Unfortunately, our income varies month to month.  We know what to expect for my job, but Paul’s job was purely commission based. It varied every month, and with all of these bills coming in it was a little overwhelming.  Paul and I got a little stressed out, but we continued to pray about it.

One day, Paul got a call from someone about a product he sells.  This gentleman was referred to Paul by a friend who had met Paul at a trade show the year before.  This person never actually worked with Paul or bought from Paul and he ended up leaving the industry, but over a year later he referred his friend to Paul.

So Paul answers the phone, and begins talking to him.  Soon they determine that the products Paul sells is exactly what this man is looking for.  I believe his exact words to Paul were, “You’re an answer to my prayers”.  A few days later, the order is placed.  Paul immediately tells me the sale and the commission he will receive, which is almost exactly the same amount as one of his medical bills.

The best part of the whole sale was that this gentleman’s company was Christian based, and included the acronym “TYL”, which just happened to stand for “Thank you Lord”.  If that was not God showing us to trust in Him, and to know that He will provide for us, I don’t know what is. This man told Paul he was an answer to his prayers, little did he know he was an answer to ours.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:25-27